A cancer diagnosis rarely affects just one person. Friends, family members and other loved ones of the person diagnosed are also touched. Of these people, at least one will more than likely take on the role of caregiver. That is what happened to Mick Cooper.

Mick’s wife Linda was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer four years ago. “That’s kind of when a whole new experience in life began,” Mick said. “Nothing can prepare you for what you’re about to go through.”

For many, caregiving is a full-time job, and Mick had to take on many new roles after Linda was diagnosed. He became the cook, dish washer, house cleaner, “cab driver,” grocery shopper and more. He’s also the voice for Linda at her frequent medical appointments. He has never missed any of her treatment appointments.

After one of Linda’s surgeries that temporarily left an opening in her side, Mick for a month had to change her bandages, pack her stomach and drain excess fluid. “But he found the strength to do it,” Linda said. “He found it and he did it.”

“Every day is a different day,” Mick said. “The ups, the downs. You live for the dreaded scans, the week of chemo treatment and the time in between. You just don’t know what to expect.”

Linda’s oncologist recently told her that nothing they have tried has made a significant difference in her battle with cancer. Because of this and the intense side effects she had been experiencing, Linda decided to stop receiving treatment. “At that point, I told him because of what it does to me, I had no quality of life,” she said. “I don’t want any more treatments. I just want quality of life now.”

As the caregiver, Mick had to learn to respect Linda’s decisions when it came to her cancer care, even if he didn’t necessarily want to. “When their decision is made, you have to support them because they don’t need that fight on top of the fight they already have,” Mick said.

“Respect the patient’s decisions,” Linda said. “I think the hardest thing is when as the spouse, you want them to try everything out there because you don’t want to lose them,” Linda said.

For a long time, Mick tried to handle his emotions on his own. “As a caregiver, your emotions alone are going to run from the highest to the lowest,” he said. “I felt I could do it myself. You can’t, so open up. Have your support system. Find that person.”

Mick found Miki Biggers, LCSW, OSW-C, Hope Cancer Resources Director of Social Work Services. They started meeting to give Mick the opportunity to open up. “In these later times, Miki has stepped up to be more a part of the help and the counseling,” Mick said. “She never missed a hospital visit. She was there, and that’s what our experience here has been. She was there.”

Hope Cancer Resources offers many different services that benefit caregivers. If you are a cancer caregiver and need support, please give us a call at 479-361-5847.